Yesterday when I came to work, I had to gather myself in the parking lot before entering. Once collected, I walked through the doors and was greeted by hugs, one coworker gave me a note that her son had written for Leah and me. So much for trying to be professional.
Leah's announcement on Facebook has currently received 136 comments of love and support. My last blog post has been read over 500 times, almost double our previous most read blog, Jeremiah's announcement. I came home early yesterday to a house filled with flowers and fruit. We have been blessed by so many well wishes from calls, emails, and visits. One of our neighbors dropped off dinner for us last night. Needless to say, the outpouring of love from our friends and family has been overwhelming.
Jeremiah's birth family has had a saying as long as I've known them and I'm sure longer than that. Perhaps its not theirs, but they were the first ones I ever heard use it. One person would say "God is good!" to which the other responds "All the time!" I've always known it true, and thought it cute, but honestly it never really resonated with me until I needed to hear the "All the time!" Fortunately, these last few days we have heard it not just from Stephanie, but also her mother and father.
As I said in my last post, I know God has a plan, although sometimes its hard to see, but perhaps we have already seen it. If Leah and I just needed to endure this pain to see how loved we are, to witness our community come out in droves to show us that they care, that would be enough reason to me. I cannot tell you how wonderful you all have made us feel.
Yesterday afternoon, after much thought and prayer, Leah and I decided we were no longer going to be sad. We talked about how while we miss the sweet child we brought home, and we thought she was ours, she never was. Our child is out there. We, instead of being sad, will look with excitement to the day we get to meet him/her (hopefully her, we have a lot of pink now). Once we made this decision it was like a light switch. While we still get emotional when we see and hear your sweet thoughts, they are tears that stem from joy, not sadness or regret. We know this has a little to do with our mindset, and a lot more to do with the blanket of prayer you all have knitted for us. I cannot thank you enough.
I tell you all of that for two reasons. One, to try to show some minuscule portion of the gratitude that we have for all of you. Unfortunately, the English language (the only one I know) does not have the words to express how thankful we are. And, two, to tell you that we will try again. We originally wanted to wait for a couple of months to heal, and prepare to accept another family into our lives. However, thanks to all of you, we are ready. We don't want to miss out on any blessings, and we would much rather risk loving and losing again. I would write more, but I have to call our social worker to let her know the news, too.
Thank you again. We love you all, and would not be where we are now without you.
God is good... All the time!