Peace that transcends understanding

How are we doing?  We are doing well.  Strangely well.  Many people have approached us with this question, and are usually surprised by our answer.  

We had a really bad day.  That was about all it was.  Our hearts were broken for about a day.  Some of our healing has come from a switch in the way we look at our situation.  We choose not to be upset, but emotion just about always overpowers logic. 

It's not that we are doing well because we didn't love that little girl.  We did.  There is only really one explanation as to why we are doing so well.  That reason may be obvious to many that read this blog.  There are some, however, that don't know my God.  He is the only reason that I can smile, joke and laugh. He has granted us peace that transcends all understanding, just as He promised he would.

Philippians 4:6-7 says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God.  And the peace of god, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." NIV

Paul wrote that after spending 2 years in a Roman prison.  I think his troubles were at least as great as mine.  He not only had peace, he spoke to others about how great it was.

In my last blog I wrote about the support all of our friends have given us.  I don't want to diminish that love and support in anyway. However, I said that we could not have made it through without you, and that is wrong.  No matter what our personal situation, we have a friend in Jesus.  We have a friend that will never let us down.  We have a friend that can carry your burden no matter how great.  

This peace that Leah and I have is miraculous, but it is probably the least of my God's promises.  If you don't know Him and want to, I would love to introduce you to my Best Friend.  Please email me at davidandleahadopt@gmail.com

The power of love, prayer, and positive thinking!

Yesterday when I came to work, I had to gather myself in the parking lot before entering.  Once collected, I walked through the doors and was greeted by hugs, one coworker gave me a note that her son had written for Leah and me.  So much for trying to be professional.

Leah's announcement on Facebook has currently received 136 comments of love and support.  My last blog post has been read over 500 times, almost double our previous most read blog, Jeremiah's announcement.  I came home early yesterday to a house filled with flowers and fruit.  We have been blessed by so many well wishes from calls, emails, and visits.  One of our neighbors dropped off dinner for us last night.  Needless to say, the outpouring of love from our friends and family has been overwhelming.

Jeremiah's birth family has had a saying as long as I've known them and I'm sure longer than that.  Perhaps its not theirs, but they were the first ones I ever heard use it.  One person would say "God is good!" to which the other responds "All the time!"  I've always known it true, and thought it cute, but honestly it never really resonated with me until I needed to hear the "All the time!"  Fortunately, these last few days we have heard it not just from Stephanie, but also her mother and father.

As I said in my last post, I know God has a plan, although sometimes its hard to see, but perhaps we have already seen it.  If Leah and I just needed to endure this pain to see how loved we are, to witness our community come out in droves to show us that they care, that would be enough reason to me.  I cannot tell you how wonderful you all have made us feel.

Yesterday afternoon, after much thought and prayer, Leah and I decided we were no longer going to be sad.  We talked about how while we miss the sweet child we brought home, and we thought she was ours, she never was.  Our child is out there.  We, instead of being sad, will look with excitement to the day we get to meet him/her (hopefully her, we have a lot of pink now).  Once we made this decision it was like a light switch.  While we still get emotional when we see and hear your sweet thoughts, they are tears that stem from joy, not sadness or regret.  We know this has a little to do with our mindset, and a lot more to do with the blanket of prayer you all have knitted for us.  I cannot thank you enough.

I tell you all of that for two reasons.  One, to try to show some minuscule portion of the gratitude that we have for all of you.  Unfortunately, the English language (the only one I know) does not have the words to express how thankful we are.  And, two, to tell you that we will try again.  We originally wanted to wait for a couple of months to heal, and prepare to accept another family into our lives.  However, thanks to all of you, we are ready.  We don't want to miss out on any blessings, and we would much rather risk loving and losing again.  I would write more, but I have to call our social worker to let her know the news, too.

Thank you again.  We love you all, and would not be where we are now without you.

God is good...  All the time!

She was my daughter for a night

Last night I brought into my home one of the smallest, sweetest little girls I have ever seen.  We cuddled on the couch before we went to sleep.  She was my daughter.  Last night, during our few rocking sessions, we talked a lot about the future.  We dreamed about me walking her down the aisle.  We talked about the things that she would need to look for in a husband.  We talked about her God, how much He loved  her, and that if I could show her but a mere fraction of the love He has for her that I would be doing an amazing job as a father.  This morning I got one more cuddle before I went to work.  I showed off pictures of her all day to my coworkers as any proud new papa would. 

Then tonight I gave her back.  Now the privilege to give her away belongs to another man.  Tonight he is that other man's daughter, and to me she is a child I got to love for a day.  This journey that we have been on has been one of many ups and downs.  I guess I was naïve to assume we were done with that. Despite the trials we have been through, this was the hardest day of our marriage... of our lives. 

"If life has no valleys, then what good is the mountaintop."
"We wouldn't appreciate sunshine, were it not for the rain"
These are 2 of my favorites, although very similar, nuggets of wisdom for hard times.  Many of my friends today have used these among others, as well as the always assuring fact that God has a plan. 

I know all of these nuggets to be true, but somehow it doesn't make it any easier tonight.  I am going to sleep like a baby this night.  Unfortunately, I won't be sleeping with one.

Please pray for that little girls new daddy.  Pray that he will lover her like I would, or better.  Pray that he will introduce her to my God. 

Please pray for that little girl.  She was mine for but a minute, but she completely stole my heart.  Pray that she grows up happy, healthy, and strong.

Most importantly, Pray for my family.  My sweet broken wife.  Pray that I can be the rock she needs to lean on.  Pray that I can somehow make my loving son, who embraced this little girl, understand why she is not here tomorrow.  Pray for healing.

One last note, I do find it truly miraculous, that the person that gives Leah and me the most joy in this hard time is named after Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the lord.  "Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future" - Jer 29:11

We're published!!

The last couple weeks have been very exciting in our new adoption journey.  We have had our home study meetings with our social worker, we have been to a couple different adoption meetings to learn more about both sides of the adoption process.  In these meetings we were able to hear others stories, fears and concerns as well as share our own story.  It was really fun to have a platform to speak about our amazing story to couples that are truly interested.   Then, just today, our good friend finished editing our profile video.  Check it out here!
It's crazy that all of a sudden we are right around the corner from being a waiting family again.  We always know that when we are in the midst of things saying, how is this all coming together so well, that it is God's plan.  It's exciting to think of our future birth-mother and wonder where she is in her journey right now.  We really pray for a hedge of protection around her, as this may be a scary time.

Please continue to pray for all of us as we come to this new stage in our story.

Thanks,

David & Leah

It's about that time

I actually wanted to write this post on Mother's Day, but turns out... I was busy spoiling a couple mothers :-)

Leah and I have recently started the process of adopting Jeremiah's sibling.  This is a decision that we knew we were going to make, but the timing of everything has been quite difficult to negotiate.  I am sure these are decisions that all parents make, and I think it's funny when we try to plan things out.  God already knows who Jeremiah's sibling is going to be.  He already has the plan.  Regardless of the theology, we have just completed our formal application.  We are cleaning up a few loose ends, and then we will start the home study process again.  Please pray for the timing of everything, as while we are excited, we are also pretty nervous about the whole process again.

After this last weekend, I am 100% confident that we are making the right decision.  Friday night, we had friends come over and we did a lot of work on our adoption video.  We are actually doing a live action video rather than a slideshow like we did last time. (hopefully its not hokey... I am trusting in my friend's talents!)  Saturday was Birthmother's day.  Leah, Jeremiah and I took Stephanie out to dinner.  It is always cool to see these two women interact with Jeremiah.  Nothing is sweeter than a mother's love.  This kid has two women that have that bond with him.  After dinner, we went to a local park to play, and show Stephanie how much fun this guy is on a playground.   It was a great evening overall, and it was great to see and hear how well things are going for Stephanie.   For Mother's Day, Leah and I went to brunch with Jeremiah, Leah's parents, and her aunt and uncle.  I of course did what I do at any breakfast buffet, and gorged on all manner of breakfast food and desert!  After brunch, the girls all went to a movie, Jeremiah slept, and I worked around the house.  When they returned Leah and I took a bike ride to a different local park, and let Jeremiah play around again.  He is obsessed with Basketball.   He really wanted to shoot baskets on the big kid goal, but would not let me pick him up.  It was pretty great.  I tell you all of this to tell you that I love watching Leah love Jeremiah.  I can't wait to see what she is going to do with a second child.  Mothering is so very natural to her.  She is patient, she is kind, she is love to both of us, but so sweetly to Jeremiah.

Please be prepared to tune back in if you are interested in our journey.  As we move through this process and pray for our new birthmother, we will be keeping you updated as we go.