Wednesday, May 30, 2012


We had a great meeting this evening with an adoption counselor and the mother-to-be who is considering us in her adoption plan.  She is an amazing young woman, who actually reminds me a lot of Leah.  We all shared a lot, and laughed a lot, and even cried a little.  We all seem to have very similar hopes and dreams for her baby boy, and I feel like they will be a perfect addition to our family.  I was amazed at how easy conversation was with her.  I am even more confident now that God has guided our paths together, and that this is all meant to be.  Other than that I am pretty much speechless.  I wouldn't know how to define how we are feeling.  Today was an answer to five years of prayers, and we can't wait to see what's next!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
                                                                                                        -Jeremiah 29:11

I get confused when I play chess, movement of my sixteenish pieces versus my competitors just becomes too much for my feeble brain to handle.  The truth is... I get confused playing checkers.  Our God, however, is able to perfectly maneuver the 3.5 billion lives on this planet, in addition to the innumberable people that have been here before us and are yet to come.  There is nothing more beautiful, more miraculous, than seeing God's plan form before you out of what you thought was mere rubble.  A great pastor once said that our lives are like mosaic tiles, all we see is one shade of a jagged ceramic, but our God sees the entire beautiful masterpiece.

When Leah and I were trying to get pregnant in 2007, He knew about her.  When I moved to Chicago in 2008, He knew about her.  When I got sick in 2009, He knew about her.  When we found out I could never father children n 2010, He knew about her.  When Leah miscarried twice, in 2011 and earlier this year, He knew about her.  Tomorrow, let me say that again, because it sounds so beautiful, so miraculous.  Tomorrow, we get to meet her!


Monday, May 28, 2012

Fear vs. Love

It never ceases to amaze me that when you truly let God be in control, He never lets you down.  When we went to church yesterday, I was praying that God would speak to us and He really did.  The message was all about fear and how it keeps us from doing the things that we are meant to for God.  This really spoke to me because of my personality.  I am a pretty shy person that enjoys living in my comfort zone.  It takes a lot for me to step out of this comfort zone, but looking back I can see how it has allowed God to work in my life.  Here's what I mean:

- first teaching job, took a long-term substitute job teaching 8th grade math - I don't want to teach middle school! 
- took only 3 weeks to get a call for a full time job teaching the same grade and subject in the district where I went to school

- 3 years later, was transferred to the elementary school teaching 4th grade - I don't know how to teach elementary school - that's 4 subjects in the same day!!
- made some amazing friends who got me through it and I'm finishing my 6th year teaching elementary school - 4th grade being my favorite grade

- living in a nice condo, but small for my taste, hoping for more - We can't put it on the market in this economy!
- plus, David got a job in Chicago in the middle of the school year - I can't leave my job halfway through! 
- we ended up living apart for 6 months (hardest 6 months of my life at that point), but when he got laid off, I still had a job and we bought our dream house and rented out the condo!

- David had health complications - What if something goes wrong in surgery?
- had the surgery, something DID go wrong, God gave us a miracle and a glimpse at His power and will that I had never imagined before.  David is better than ever now and it ended up being for the best (despite the fear that went along with it).

- decided to start a family - Why isn't it working?  What do we do?
- tried doctors, embryo adoption, suffered losses of two miscarriages ...

But now here we sit, feeling more in God's will and timing than ever before.  All of that fear was replaced with the amazing agape love of God - unconditional and unchanging.  We have been given an incredible opportunity to share this crazy story with people and show God's love for us.  So thanks to all these circumstances I have been taken out of my comfort zone and forced to stand up to fear and instead choose God's love.  He knows what He's doing, and I just need to hang on and enjoy the ride.


Here's the message, if you want to hear it...
River Church // 3385 - Fear vs. Love

Thursday, May 24, 2012

The phone call...

A few weeks ago we went to a meeting for waiting families, and one of the Adoptive fathers mentioned that every time his phone rang from a (248) number his heart would skip a beat.  I thought it was a little silly until we became an approved waiting family.  We are in the (248) area code, so just about all of my phone calls come from a (248) area code.  Today, though, it seems that I received 100 phone calls from numbers that weren't stored in my phone, and each one took my breath away.  At about 3:00 this afternoon my hopes were answered as the voice on the other end of the phone was an adoption counselor from Bethany Christian Services.  She was calling to let us know that our adoption book had been shown to a young mother-to-be, and she really liked our book.  There is a lot of paperwork to do before she can officially choose us as adoptive parents, and hopefully in the meantime she won't find someone better.  I will keep you updated as we find out more information, which will hopefully be early next week. 

Thank you so much for all of your prayer over the last several months, and you are not done yet!  Please, please, please keep praying for us, this sweet, young mother, and her baby.  I hope and pray that they are the addition to our family that we have been praying for.


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Almost summer!

Well, the end of the school year is near and I'm getting very excited for what the summer has to bring.  I'm looking forward to the possibility of hearing that we have a baby on it's way to us!  Now that our book and profile are available for birth moms to look at, who knows how long (or short) it could be.  It's crazy, because I don't really know how the whole "nesting" thing works when there isn't a 9 month timetable... I had never really thought about that before, but luckily God knows the timing and it's always perfect. :) 
We had a great weekend with family and friends and it makes me smile as I think about outings with a new baby.  I can't wait for him or her to become a part of our extended family and grow up to play with our friend's kids.  I am excited for all the possibilities that are in store and I'm ready for them to begin!
Thanks, as always, for your support through blog messages, facebook, in person, and in prayer.  We look forward to seeing you at the fundraiser on June 6th if you're able to make it. 


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

And now we are even more famous!

I checked today and our profile has finally appeared on the Bethany website:  They have not yet posted our video, but you have all already seen that... if not... look below! 

We also went to a "waiting families" meeting last week with several other waiting families.  They had 2 adoptive couples, as well as two birth moms, and one of the dads.  It was very cool to hear the different perspectives from both sides of the adoption.  It was also nice to hear that several of them had the same fears we are having.  We are terrified of a failed adoption.  Having already miscarried twice, we don't know if we could handle the grief of an adoption that falls through.  It was very nice to have the adoptive parents speak, as both couples had at least one failed adoption, and were able to speak kindly of the situation. It seems as though once you are matched and have a baby at home, all wounds are healed.  I so look forward to that day. 

The thought is quite crazy that we could be parents tomorrow!  Realistically, the agency is estimating 12-18 months, but if a birth mother likes us tomorrow, we could be matched that quickly.  Keep praying for our birth mother.  This process is obviously going to be very tough for her.  Also, please pray for our hearts.  That he will protect our family, and make us whole very, very soon!



Tuesday, May 1, 2012

I guess that means we're famous

A whole lot of progress today.  First of all, our homestudy is now approved and we are officially a waiting family with Bethany Christian Services.  Secondly, we completed our preliminary education requirement, and turned that in along with our photobooks.  Finally, the reason we are famous.... We are now on YouTube.  We completed our video profile for the adoption.  Feel free to share this video with as many people as you feel comfortable.  This is one of the main ways we are able to market ourselves to potential birthmothers.  Quite often they visit the youtube videos before they even venture into an adoption office.  So the more people... the better!

Thank you for all the continued prayer.  And now, the wait begins...