It never ceases to amaze me that when you truly let God be in control, He never lets you down. When we went to church yesterday, I was praying that God would speak to us and He really did. The message was all about fear and how it keeps us from doing the things that we are meant to for God. This really spoke to me because of my personality. I am a pretty shy person that enjoys living in my comfort zone. It takes a lot for me to step out of this comfort zone, but looking back I can see how it has allowed God to work in my life. Here's what I mean:
- first teaching job, took a long-term substitute job teaching 8th grade math - I don't want to teach middle school!
- took only 3 weeks to get a call for a full time job teaching the same grade and subject in the district where I went to school
- 3 years later, was transferred to the elementary school teaching 4th grade - I don't know how to teach elementary school - that's 4 subjects in the same day!!
- made some amazing friends who got me through it and I'm finishing my 6th year teaching elementary school - 4th grade being my favorite grade
- living in a nice condo, but small for my taste, hoping for more - We can't put it on the market in this economy!
- plus, David got a job in Chicago in the middle of the school year - I can't leave my job halfway through!
- we ended up living apart for 6 months (hardest 6 months of my life at that point), but when he got laid off, I still had a job and we bought our dream house and rented out the condo!
- David had health complications - What if something goes wrong in surgery?
- had the surgery, something DID go wrong, God gave us a miracle and a glimpse at His power and will that I had never imagined before. David is better than ever now and it ended up being for the best (despite the fear that went along with it).
- decided to start a family - Why isn't it working? What do we do?
- tried doctors, embryo adoption, suffered losses of two miscarriages ...
But now here we sit, feeling more in God's will and timing than ever before. All of that fear was replaced with the amazing agape love of God - unconditional and unchanging. We have been given an incredible opportunity to share this crazy story with people and show God's love for us. So thanks to all these circumstances I have been taken out of my comfort zone and forced to stand up to fear and instead choose God's love. He knows what He's doing, and I just need to hang on and enjoy the ride.
Here's the message, if you want to hear it...
River Church // 3385 - Fear vs. Love