Wednesday, October 8, 2014

She was my daughter for a night

Last night I brought into my home one of the smallest, sweetest little girls I have ever seen.  We cuddled on the couch before we went to sleep.  She was my daughter.  Last night, during our few rocking sessions, we talked a lot about the future.  We dreamed about me walking her down the aisle.  We talked about the things that she would need to look for in a husband.  We talked about her God, how much He loved  her, and that if I could show her but a mere fraction of the love He has for her that I would be doing an amazing job as a father.  This morning I got one more cuddle before I went to work.  I showed off pictures of her all day to my coworkers as any proud new papa would. 

Then tonight I gave her back.  Now the privilege to give her away belongs to another man.  Tonight he is that other man's daughter, and to me she is a child I got to love for a day.  This journey that we have been on has been one of many ups and downs.  I guess I was naïve to assume we were done with that. Despite the trials we have been through, this was the hardest day of our marriage... of our lives. 

"If life has no valleys, then what good is the mountaintop."
"We wouldn't appreciate sunshine, were it not for the rain"
These are 2 of my favorites, although very similar, nuggets of wisdom for hard times.  Many of my friends today have used these among others, as well as the always assuring fact that God has a plan. 

I know all of these nuggets to be true, but somehow it doesn't make it any easier tonight.  I am going to sleep like a baby this night.  Unfortunately, I won't be sleeping with one.

Please pray for that little girls new daddy.  Pray that he will lover her like I would, or better.  Pray that he will introduce her to my God. 

Please pray for that little girl.  She was mine for but a minute, but she completely stole my heart.  Pray that she grows up happy, healthy, and strong.

Most importantly, Pray for my family.  My sweet broken wife.  Pray that I can be the rock she needs to lean on.  Pray that I can somehow make my loving son, who embraced this little girl, understand why she is not here tomorrow.  Pray for healing.

One last note, I do find it truly miraculous, that the person that gives Leah and me the most joy in this hard time is named after Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the lord.  "Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future" - Jer 29:11


  1. We love you both and are so broken for you. Hold on tight to Jer 29:11 and to that sweet little boy.

  2. I couldn't be more proud of the man and father you are.

  3. My wife and I were also Foster care parents and I can't tell you how well you expressed our emotions!