When we first learned of this, after the shock had settled down. Both of us had independently considered adoption. We attended an adoption class at Bethany Christian Services. In this class, we learned in some of the latest and greatest developments in the realm of adoption. Couples with leftover embryos (fertilized eggs) from an IVF procedure, can donate them to other infertile couples through a process call Embryo Adoption. When we heard of this we were elated, as this would still give Leah the opportunity to be pregnant. We were "matched" with a very generous couple from Grand Rapids, MI and we received 9 embryos.
After a couple of months of horomone therapy, Leah's body was ready to receive her first set of embryos. Three embryos were thawed, and two survived the thawing process. Both of these two were transfered, but neither implanted into her lining, and thus we did not get pregnant.
After about a three months we went through the process again, with some minor tweaks. this time 4 embryos were thawed, and all of them survived! Three of them were transferred and one was refrozen for future use. After the longest 12 days of our lives we received good news. We were pregnant. This happened right at about the same time as October was setting in. We told many of our close friends who had been praying for us throughout the process, took pictures of Leah holding mums.... get it... mums... and after about 10 days of excitement we were shocked again. The baby had miscarried. We never knew how attached you could grow to someone you had never met. Also, we had the looming fear that we only had one more chance.
A couple months later, we go for the process a third and final time. If you have done your math, we have two embryos that we haven't touched and one, now called a blastocyst, that has been refrozen. The human body is so complex that it cannot receive embryos at different ages, or even into a womb that is expecting embryos of a different age. The clinic thawed out the two embryos and grew them out until they were the same age as the blastocyst. Unfortunately the blastocyst did not survive the thaw, and one of the other embryos died in the early stages as well. We transfered one embryo. Then we waited. Then we heard we were pregnant. This time we were a little more careful with who we told, and kept it to only people who absolutely needed to know. We didn't even tell our parents. Unfortunately, things started to look all to familiar, as Leah misscarried about a week into the pregnancy.
This time the pain was less about the baby, but more about the opportunity loss. We have come to the realization that Leah will not be pregnant. We are confident that God has designed us to be parents. But, perhaps he has intentions for us not just to save a baby. Perhaps, he also wants us to affect the life of a young mother as well. We have decided to pursue traditional, domestic infant, adoption.